So it has dawned on me recently that I am not your ‘typical’ student. As much as I am a student, living away from home and studying in a different city, I am not all at the same time. By this I mean that I don’t do all the typical stuff a student should do.
I have come to the realisation that I do not go out very often, hardly at all to be honest, by that I mean clubbing and partying. I do not therefore spend all of my money on alcohol and I do not find myself skint at the end of each week, I don’t (usually) miss lectures and I find myself at the library most evenings keeping up with work or making sure I am ahead. You might think I am crazy and that I am not making the most of my experience and perhaps you’re right but this isn’t entirely by choice. So let me tell you what is stopping me from doing all the typical ‘studenty’ stuff.
Firstly, I have a job. I know that I am not the only student who has one but sometimes it feels like it. Whilst my housemates can enjoy a crazy night out on a Monday night I have to stay in because I have work early the next day, I know I could still probably go out but what is the fun if I can’t go all out and stay up all night? How much fun can it be thinking about work whilst dancing in a club, making sure to get home at a reasonable hour so that I get enough sleep to feel half alive the next morning? It doesn’t sound fun to me and so I tend to stay in.
A job is also the reason why I spend so much time ‘being sensible’and going to the library most evenings, it is because I work weekends and all of my free days during the week, this leaves me with no time to do work, when I get home all I want to do is eat and go to sleep because I have to be up the next day for either work or uni. So prioritising my uni deadlines comes above going out. How exciting ey?
But, let’s forget about the job. I was thinking to myself why is it so rare for me to go out clubbing. It is mainly because I don’t enjoy it as much as I should, being a student it is almost a crime to not like drinking and getting wasted with your friends, what student doesn’t love doing just that?! Well, I don’t. It makes me feel anxious and I can never fully relax when in a club and I don’t even know why. I always find an excuse to go home early or make an excuse from going out at all, all because I feel nervous before going out and get a tad bit panicky, the worst part is I DONT KNOW WHY. The prospect of being around drunk and obnoxious people isn’t appealing to me, I don’t really like alcohol and I will only drink something that doesn’t taste like alcohol, so whats the point in that?
I have had some great nights out but only when I am with my sister who comes to visit, ask me why and I will say I don’t entirely know, maybe she is the only one that I feel relaxed around and 100% comfortable with. I dance my heart away and I enjoy every minute of it, we do stupid things and make memories, laugh all night, eat a kebab around 6am and go to sleep. It’s great but the problem is I can only ever go out like this when I am with her, crazy right? And it is not like I haven’t tried going out with uni friends because I have, I just never really enjoy myself.
I don’t really haven’t anything poignant to finish on, I jus wanted to get my thoughts down and share a little as I feel like I am the only one that feels like this. haha